her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
