i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I could make wine with my vomit
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My life is pants optional.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
