I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
