Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
