I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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