Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
