No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
