i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
