I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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