You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
