I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
