windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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