I want to stick my p in your. b.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
