My room smells like vodka and shame
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize