I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
