Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
