They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
