I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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