I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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