No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
