I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
