we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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