Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
