Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Randomize
