I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
