Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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