I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
