He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
