Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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