After last night, I could never be a politician.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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