So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
