worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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