We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
