she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Randomize
