YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
