I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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