at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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