Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
