How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
