just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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