Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize