Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize