I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
