6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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