So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
