One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
