Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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