But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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