I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
