areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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