This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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