hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
