bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
