Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
