I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
