Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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