And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
