Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
