So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
