I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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