hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think I just sharted jello shots
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